Fate and Destiny
by 6helterskelter6
Summary: Starts out in high school but later develops. It's AU. For the NC17 Chrismakkah Challenge COMPLETE!
1. Part I

**Title:** Fate and Destiny  
**Author:** 6helterskelter6  
**Rating:** NC-17 (later)  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Alias, any of its characters. I own nothing. Just some CD's. Not even this computer.  
**Summary:** Starts out in high school but later develops. It's AU too. For the NC-17 Chrismakkah Challenge 1) obviously...must be sarkney  
2) include a flashback  
3) a line in a different language  
4) sun tan lotion  
5) a toe ring  
6) some character saying "What do you think you're doing?"  
7) either Hannuka gelt or mistletoe

It's a **LONG** WIP. (I like long fics - like novel length).

* * *

**Chapter One**

Sydney Bristow was a girl who never fit in. Her mother died when she was only 6 years old and her father was never around. She was 16 years old when her life changed. She had always been the girl who sat at the back of the room in a corner, and no one ever noticed her. She just blended into the wall.

She never talked to anyone, never put up her hand in class. She wore thick-rimmed glasses and spent her spare time reading or writing. She was never late for class, got good grades and didn't participate in any after school activities.

She had a couple of good friends, Will and Francie, who were going out now, so it wasn't the same. Sydney felt like the third wheel when they went out now. She had dated two boys in her life; Danny and Noah. Danny broke up with her because well… she didn't really know. He was popular and she wasn't. They had dated when she was 15, and he was her first real boyfriend. Noah was her second boyfriend. They started out as friends and one day he asked her out on a date, she said yes. They went out for six months until his parents told him that they were moving to New York. She swore off dating at that point. All Sydney wanted in life was to finish high school and become an English professor, like her mother had been.

No one noticed her until, one day, something changed.

----------------------------------------

Julian Sark was captain of the football team, soon-to-be the school president and the cutest guy in high school. He was popular, strong, smart and cute; all the things a girl could want. The truth was that he hated it all. He hated being popular, he hated all the girls who just followed him around. He just wanted to be Julian.

When he was 12, his mother died and his father, who had been abusive, shipped him off Los Angeles from London. He missed it terribly, but every time his father asked him how he liked Los Angeles, he said that he loved it here and didn't want to come back. He was truly just afraid of him. He was never going to go back home to that.

Girls were all over him, and he gave in sometimes. He dated girls, but he never really liked them. They weren't smart. He wanted to be with someone. He wanted a relationship, someone that he could talk to, but there wasn't anyone he was interested in.

His favourite classes were the languages. He loved his Latin and German classes. He already spoke Spanish, French, Russian and English fluently. Languages just came to him naturally. He didn't have any idea what he was going to do with his life, he thought about becoming a language teacher. Maybe that would be his calling.

One day, he was walking into his English classroom and sat right in the middle of the room. He heard someone drop their books at the back of the classroom and turned to help whoever it was pick them up. He bent down and gathered them up in his arms while she picked up her papers that had fallen out of her binder.

She thanked him and took the books from him, placing them on her desk. She smiled sweetly at him and pushed her hair behind her ears. He smiled back and stood staring at her for a moment. She blushed under his gaze. "Are you new here?" he asked.

She cleared her throat, forcing the blush down, "no, I've been going here for a while."

"Oh really?" he looked at her again, "How could I have never noticed you before?"

She looked away and blushed again. "Julian Sark" he said to her, putting his hand out for her to shake.

"I know who you are" she said. She shook his hand and replied, "Sydney Bristow."

"Nice to meet you" he turned at the sound of the door opening and saw the teacher walk into the room.

"I think we should sit down" she said to Julian.

He nodded and sat back in his seat. A few minutes into class, he took a piece of paper and wrote a little note on it.

_Sydney, do you want to have lunch on the quad today?_

_-Julian_

He passed it to Sydney discretely and tried to pay attention to the lecture on Hamlet that was going on in front of him.

He kept turning back to look at Sydney, and she would look down at her notes quickly whenever he did. He saw her open his note and smile. She looked at him and nodded quickly, then looked back down at her notes.

He turned around and smiled, looking back down at his notes. He knew it was pointless to try and concentrate on anything other than Sydney Bristow.

-------------------------------------

Lunch came right after English class, and Sydney went to her locker and then to the quad. She saw Julian walk over to her smiling.

"Hey!" he called to her.

"Hey!" she replied.

He sat down beside her and they started eating their lunches.

"I wanted to get you out here so I can learn more about you. All I know is that your name is Sydney Bristow and you're in my English class."

"Well, I've been going here since grade 9, and since I'm in grade 12 now, that makes this my fourth year."

"I can't believe I didn't notice you before! Are you just in my English class? Because if you're in more, then I'm surprised."

"I'm in your German and French classes too," he looked at her shocked and ashamed, "but I didn't expect you to notice me. I'm pretty quiet."

"But still, I try to talk to people, I'm the school president, I should know at _least_ the people in my class!" he said exasperated.

"Really, don't worry about it" she said smiling.

"Well, I guess I'll have to spend extra time with you to get to know you then."

"OK" she smiled, blushed and then took a bite of her sandwich, "So, how about you? How long have you been living in LA?"

"Well, my mother died when I was 12 and then my father shipped me off here so I could live a better life."

"I'm sorry about your mother… how did it happen?"

"Cancer. And don't be sorry, I'm over it."

"You can never really get over losing your mother, I know. My mother died in a car accident when I was 6. My father was totally destroyed, he's never around. It's really annoying. I've basically been living on my own or with my nanny when I was little."

"Well, we both grew up without mothers and with absentee fathers."

"That's a nice thing to have in common," she said sarcastically. "So, what do you want to do after high school?"

"I want to become a languages teacher. I love learning languages."

"I want to be an English teacher!"

"Well, we have something else in common then."

Sydney and Julian sat talking for most of the lunch hour until his friends found him outside. There were four of them. Jessica, Meleana, Robbie and Danny.

"Hey Syd," Danny said, "How are you doing?"

She looked down, "I'm doing just fine, how are you?"

"Good" he sat next to Julian, "Jules, what are you doing with her?"

"What does it look like? I'm having lunch with her, and it was going very well until you guys showed up."

"Well, why her? I mean, just look at her" Jessica nodded in Sydney's direction.

Sydney gathered up her things and stood, "you know what? I'm just going to go. I'll see you later Julian."

"Syd!" he cried out to her when she was walking away, "please stay."

"No, I'm going to go inside and go back to the way things were" she walked away.

He stood and watched her walk away before turning back to his friends, "What the hell is wrong with you guys!" he screamed at his friends, "The first girl I actually enjoy being with at you guys have to go and screw it up! I can't believe you! Why don't you guys ever leave me alone!" he walked off in a huff.

------------------------------------------

Sydney went home that night and called Francie. When she heard Sydney on the phone, she knew something was wrong and she came right over.

"Syd! What's wrong?" she said when she saw Sydney at the front door.

"Do you know Julian Sark?" Sydney asked.

"Yeah, he's the school president and the football captain. Why?"

"I like him. And I think he likes me, but I can't stand his friends. They're so horrible! I was talking to him at lunch and then his friends came over and made everything bad. They asked him why he was talking to me and he just asked them why it mattered and then one of them said 'why her? Just look at her'" Sydney broke down into tears.

"Syd…" Francie hugged her friend.

"Is there something wrong with me?" Sydney asked tearfully.

"Sydney! Of course there isn't anything wrong with you! You're so smart and nice and you're gorgeous!"

"I'm horrible looking! My hair is so frizzy and my glasses are horrible!"

"Well, you can use special stuff on your hair and why don't we go, right now, and get you some new frames! Would that make you feel better?"

Sydney nodded and ran to get her purse. She made herself look presentable and they were off to the mall.

-------------------------------------------

"Sydney, those look great on you!" Francie exclaimed. Sydney was wearing a pair of almost rectangular frames which were a dark blue on the front half and gold on the back.

She fiddled with her hair in the mirror, she looked back at Francie smiling, "you really think so?"

"Yeah, Syd, if you don't buy these ones you're crazy. These are the ones for you."

"Alright. Let's buy them."

They paid at the cash and walked out of the store, "Syd, we should go to a salon and get some help with your hair, and then we'll head back and pick up your new glasses!"

The hairdresser took a look at Sydney and started chopping away. When they were finished, she looked completely different. She had a fringe hanging just below her left eyebrow and it was cut just above her shoulders with layers. The Sydney Bristow that picked up her new glasses a few minutes later was a new person. She was more confident, which made her and Francie feel better.

"How about we go see a movie and call up Will?" Sydney asked, "I want him to be the first person, other than you, to see the brand new me!"

"Sure, but you sit in the middle at the movie. I know how you feel like the third wheel all the time now, and if you're in between us, then nothing can happen."

Sydney smiled and laughed, "ok sure, we can do that."

Sydney and Francie continued to browse the mall and stopped in a couple of stores, trying on clothes and playing with accessories. They ended up spending loads of money that afternoon. Sydney went home before the movie carrying many bags full of clothes. She felt so confident and walked, holding her head high.

When Will picked them up at Sydney's house, he stopped in the doorway when he saw her. "Wow, Syd, you look amazing!"

"Thanks" Sydney replied, smiling.

"What caused this change?" he asked.

"She likes a boy" Francie cut in.

"WHO?" he cried.

"Julian Sark" she smiled, "And I think he likes her too."

"Really? That guy's the captain of the football team and the school president! Plus, he's a nice guy."

"I know" Sydney said, "but I can't stand his friends."

"That's Jessica and them right?"

"Yeah."

"She's a bitch" Francie said, "Remember in the 10th grade she spread a rumour about me?"

"Was that the one about you making out with a pillow or something?"

"Yeah"

"That wasn't as bad as the rumour about Noah before he left."

"Let's not talk about Noah alright?" Sydney interjected.

They were silent in the room. Sydney didn't like to talk about Noah because she would never truly get over him. He had been her best friend and then boyfriend. He left town suddenly last year and Sydney had lost another of her few friends.

"Do you want to go now?" Will asked.

"Yeah sure!"

-------------------------------------------

When they dropped Sydney back at home, she noticed that there was a new message on the answering machine, _probably dad saying that he won't coming home for a while longer_, she thought.

She pressed the button and Julian Sark's voice came through the speaker.

"Hey, Syd. It's Julian. Um… I wanted to apologize for everything that happened earlier today. My friends are real pricks sometimes. I wanted to ask you to have coffee or something with me later this week because… well… I like you. So I really want to see you some time. Please call me back at 555-6782. See you on Monday."

Sydney saved the message quickly and called Francie's cell. "Francie, you have to come back right now and listen to the message Julian left me!" she shrieked. She heard her yell something at Will and him reply and then Francie told her she was on her way.

She ran into the house and Sydney played the message again. They were jumping up and down and Will left the house. Sydney asked Francie to stay over and they could gush about guys and have a girl's night. Jack Bristow was out of town, again, so he would never know.

"God, Syd I'm so happy for you! Everything's going to be so good this year! Sure, it's already January, and our final year is almost over, but things are going so well now!"

"Don't talk about that. I don't like thinking about being away from you and Will. We've been together every year and now soon we're going to go to different Universities."

"I know. I don't want to leave LA though, that's why I applied to UCLA."

"That's why we _all_ applied to UCLA."

"Yeah. Well that talk sure made me depressed, how about we change the subject?"

"OK, so maybe we should watch a movie. We've got loads of them. Dad buys them before he leaves so I have something to do. I never watch them though…"

"Well, I see you have a lot of good things here. How about we watch… this one" Francie quickly ripped a dvd case off the shelf, "the Notebook!"

Two hours later, they had bawled for an hour through the movie, "I love this movie. It's so happy and sad."

"So, you and Julian, do you think that it's real?"

"I hope so. I mean, if this is some joke that's supposed to make me feel bad I'll kill him."

"So will I, and Will… and your father, if he ever finds out."

Sydney chuckled, "Yeah, he really would."

Francie yawned, "I'm tired. Do you want to go to sleep?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I think I'm going to call Julian tomorrow morning."

------------------------------------------

"Syd, it's 11, do you think it's time to call Julian?"

"I don't know, maybe I should just wait until tonight…"

"Syd! Come on! If you don't call him now, you never will" Francie handed her the phone.

"Fine," Sydney sighed. "I'll call him."

Her hand was shaking. Francie was staring at her with a broad smile across her face. She lit up and Francie heard a mumble through the phone. "Hi, is Julian there?" Sydney asked.

"Hi Julian!" Sydney blushed.

"_Hey! I was hoping you would call."_

"Well, I got your message, and I thought that I should call you."

"_So, do you want to go have coffee or something, sometime?"_

"I'd really like that."

"_Are you free this afternoon?"_

"Yeah."

"_Great! Um… Can I pick you up around 2?"_

"Yeah, sure!" she gave him her address then hung up the phone. She was glowing. "He's picking me up at 2 and we're going for coffee!" she told Francie.

"It's 11:15 right now, so why don't we get you upstairs and get you ready! I'm so excited!"

"From the way you're feeling about this thing, it sounds as if _you're_ going out with him."

They ran upstairs and Sydney jumped into the shower while Francie tore apart her closet. Sydney entered her bedroom to see the entire contents of her closet strewn across her bed. Francie was sitting in front of her closet, on the floor, looking at shoes.

"Syd, you need shoes!" Francie called to her.

"I already have shoes."

"You don't have enough," Francie said, "I'm going to go to my house really quickly and then come back with shoes. You _need_ more shoes."

"I really don't need more shoes. I have enough" she walked over to her closet and picked up a pair of converse all stars, "See? Shoes!"

"Those aren't _date_ shoes Sydney," Francie sighed, "Those are running shoes."

"Francie, it's just coffee. Do you really think I should wear something fancier?"

"I think you should wear either these," she held up a pair of black pumps, "or these," she held up a pair of black kitten-heel ankle boots. She definitely favoured the boots though, because she was moving them back and forward in front of Sydney, and she had a suggestive look upon her face.

"Ok, I'll take the hint. I'll wear the boots" she took them from Francie and set them on the floor. "Now, how are we going to figure out what I should wear?"

"Why don't we look at every shirt, and then look at the bottoms."

"Sure."

Two hours and fifteen minutes later Sydney was looking in the mirror. She was wearing jeans and a black velvet, military-style blazer with gold accents with a black tank-top underneath it.

"Syd, he's going to be speechless when he sees you," Francie looked at the clock, "fifteen more minutes!" she shrieked.

"I know! I'm so nervous Francie. What are we going to talk about? I have no clue what to do. And what if we do end up dating? What are the people at school going to say about it?"

"Syd, who cares about what people think! If you and Julian are together, you should care only about yourselves. No one else in the world should matter," she hugged the nervous Sydney, "Well, maybe your father matters a little. He'll kill him for even thinking about you."

Sydney laughed, "I think you're right about that. My father can't know anything about my life. He'd kill everyone who came near me."

They froze when they heard the sound of the doorbell. Sydney looked so nervous, Francie just smiled and dragged Sydney to the front door.

Sydney opened the door and Francie stood beside her. "Hi," Sydney said smiling brilliantly.

He echoed her exuberance. "Hi."

"This is my friend Francie."

He put out his hand, "Nice to meet you Francie."

She shook his hand and smiled, "You guys should go…" she whispered into Sydney's ear.

"Shall we?" he said to Sydney.

She nodded and they walked to the street, "So, where exactly are we going?" she asked him.

"There's a little cafe that I found downtown, is that ok?"

"Yeah, that's just fine."

They walked side-by-side to his car and got in. He drove them to the cafe downtown and they ordered their coffees. "So, how long have you lived in Los Angeles?" Sydney asked.

"Since my mother died which was when I was 12. My father just shipped me off."

"That's horrible."

"Well, it's better than being with him."

"Why? Why would you want to be away from your own father?"

"Well, I think that's a story for another time…" he paused and took her hand, "I really don't like to talk about that."

"I understand. I get that way too, but in my case it's because my father is never around. And then he feels that he can be so overprotective! It's just… hard."

He let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Well, I guess we're just from broken homes."

She laughed, "Well, that's not a thing to be happy about."

"How long have you known Francie?"

"Forever. We grew up together. Same with Will."

"That must be nice, to have grown up with people like that. I never had that."

"Well, you have a lot of people around you at school. It must be nice… for people to notice you, for people to see you and know you're there. I'm just the invisible girl, who sits at the back of the room."

"I don't know how I didn't notice you before, I mean, you're so beautiful," Sydney blushed, "I really like your new glasses… and your hair cut. It's really nice," she blushed more, "And as for the people who are always around me… well, I don't actually like any of them. They're all pretentious popular freaks who think that they're better than everyone."

"Well, until yesterday I thought the same of you. I'm really sorry about that. It's just that they're always with you and… well… you know."

"You just assumed that I was one of them," he said smiling, "So I guess your opinion has changed today then."

"Yes, it really has," Sydney threw her empty coffee cup into a garbage bin, "What's your opinion of me" she asked when they walked to the pier.

"Well, I think that you're intelligent, kind and beautiful. And I'm very happy that I finally noticed you yesterday…" he kissed her palm, "Oh, and you're a complete klutz."

She laughed, "I think you've got me down right there."

"And I didn't even have to spend too much time with you… but I want to. I want to spend more time with you Sydney. Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight? Make this afternoon of coffee into a full afternoon and night with dinner?"

"I'd love that."

"You know, I'm really enjoying myself right now. And I know I just met you, but I really like you, Sydney."

"Well, that's good, because I like you too."

They continued walking on the pier for hours until it became dark, then went to dinner.

---------------------------------------------------

They stood at her front door, he was holding her hand and she sighed, "I don't want this night to end. It was perfect."

"I know what you mean."

"Well, um… I guess I should go."

"Yeah," she let go of his hand and took out her key, "I had a really nice time today."

"I'm glad," he looked to the ground, "I guess I'll see you on Monday then."

"Yeah," she turned around and put her key in the lock and turned, unlocking the door. She turned back to him, "Goodnight Julian."

She entered her house and closed the door behind her. A few seconds later there was a knock at the door. Sydney answered it quickly because she hadn't moved from her place yet. "Syd," Julian whispered and pulled her to him softly and placed the smallest and sweetest kiss upon her lips, "Goodnight," he whispered when they parted.

She blushed and tuned back into her house with a smile on her face.

------------------------------------------------

Monday morning was very interesting. Sydney came to school and went straight to her locker, as per usual, and saw Julian standing there, waiting for her. She smiled when she saw him, and he did the same, "Hey!" he cried.

"Hey," she said softly.

He took her hand and kissed her palm, the people in the hall stared at the couple in shock. "I missed you yesterday. Isn't that funny? We've only been on one date and I already can't stand to be away from you."

Sydney blushed and looked him in the eyes, "I can believe that, because I felt the same way."

She opened her locker and took out a couple of books, "So, what do you have first period today?" she asked him.

"I think I have Bio this morning. What about you?"

"Chem. I really hate that class. When am I ever going to need to know how explosives are made? Never, that's when. I'm only taking the course because of my father."

"Same thing about Bio. I don't care about anything in that class."

"Oh well, that's high school."

"Let's get to class, Syd."

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Two months passed and it was now spring. Sydney and Julian had been dating for two months, and were now inseparable. It was March 11th and it's Julian's birthday. Sydney is planning a surprise party, and she's planning on telling him how she feels about him. She is pacing her bedroom, twisting her fingers with her nerves and then the phone rings. She nearly jumps into the air because of the shock.

"Hello?"

"_Sydney, it's your father. I'm going to be coming in later than I originally thought."_

"Oh… when are you coming back then?"

"_I should be back on Thursday. We could go out for dinner together that night… would you like that?"_

"Yeah, sure. That would be nice."

"_Are you alright Sydney? You sound a little off."_

"I'm fine, I just wasn't expecting the phone to ring, and it surprised me."

"_I'm being called away. I'll see you soon sweetheart."_

"See you Thursday dad."

"_See you. I love you Sydney."_

"I love you too dad."

Sydney hung up the phone and frowned. Her father wasn't going to be home again. He had no idea what was going on in Sydney's life. She tried to talk to him, but it never worked. He never listened. She picks up the phone and dials Julian's number. "Hey Julian."

"_Syd! I was just about to call you," Sydney could sense something was wrong, he sounded distracted, "I need to see you. I have to tell you something important."_

"Oh, well… I have to tell you something important too. Do you want to come by?"

"_I'll be there really soon. See you!"_


	2. Part II

**Chapter Two**

Ten minutes later Julian was knocking on her front door. He looked depressed and scared. "Julian, what's wrong?" she asked him, taking him into her arms.

"I have to tell you about my father. I _need_ to tell you."

"What is it Julian?"

"Can we please sit down for this?" he tugged her arm and almost dragged her to the living room, "You can't tell anyone Sydney. You have to promise me."

"I promise," she said. She was worried about him. He had never been like this before. His hands were shaking and his voice was cracking, "Just, please tell me what's going on."

"You know when we first met, I told you that my father shipped me off to America for no reason? Well, there was a reason. He used to beat my mother and I" Sydney gasped and tears flooded her eyes, "He sent me here because he didn't want me to go to the police. He sent me here to shut me up."

"I'm so sorry Julian," Sydney had tears running down her cheeks now, "I had no idea. It's so horrible…" she hugged him tightly, and realized something, "Why are you telling me this now? And why do you suddenly want to stay here tonight?"

"My father called my apartment and left a message. He's coming into town today, for my 18th birthday. I'm sorry to burden you with this Syd, it's just that I'm scared. I'm afraid of what he'll do to me," he was crying now too and Sydney was shaking and crying heavily.

"I'm not going to let him touch you Julian. I love you."

He pulled back in surprise, "What?" he was shocked, "Did you just say that you love me?"

She looked down, "Yes," she said, "I love you."

He smiled and raised her chin with his finger and kissed her lips softly, "I love you too, Sydney," he whispered in her ear.

She giggled, "I almost forgot to wish you a happy birthday" she said softly, "Happy Birthday Julian."

"Thank you Syd," he smiled again, "Being with you makes this day perfect. I'm so glad that it's just you and me… no one else."

Sydney blushed, "Just you and me," she whispered nervously, but he didn't notice.

"When we were on the phone you said that you needed to tell me something important…"

"It was that I love you. Oh, and that my father is blowing me off again because of work. He's going to be back on Thursday. And _then_ he wants to go to dinner. Just the two of us."

"What's bad about that?" Julian asked.

"Nothing. It's just that, well… I wanted to have you meet him. And now you can't."

"Well, maybe you should try to talk to him about that. Tell him about your concerns. I'm sure that he'll listen."

"I guess. Can you wait here? I'm just going to run and call him. I'll be right back."

Sydney ran to her bedroom and called Francie, "Francie, I need you to call everyone who's supposed to come tonight and cancel. Julian just came over and he's having a bad day. It's something to do with his father, and I can't tell you. Just please do this for me?"

"_Sure Syd, anything for you. I hope everything's alright."_

"Yeah, everything's going to be perfect. I have to tell you something Fran… I told him that I love him."

Francie shrieked over the line, _"Oh My God! Syd, this is the best news ever! Did he say it back!"_

"Yeah. Fran, I'm so happy!"

"_I'm so happy too! You know that we all love Julian. He's the nicest guy ever. So much better than Danny and Noah ever were. You deserve all the happiness in the world Syd."_

"Ok, well I've got to run. I have to call my father and get back to Julian."

"_Ok, see you later!"_

Sydney hung up the phone and picked it up again, dialling her father's number.

"_Hello?"_ her father said.

"Hi dad, it's Sydney. I'm sorry to disturb your business meeting, but it's important. About dinner on Thursday night… Um… would it be alright if I brought someone along? It's this guy from school. We've kind of been dating for a while and I really want you to meet him."

"_Sydney? You've been keeping something like this from me?"_

"Dad, I'm sorry, you're just never here. And when you are here, you just ignore me," Sydney could feel a headache coming on. She had never been good with talking to her father about this.

"_Sweetheart, it's really not the time for this. I have to go. We'll talk about this when I get home. And you can bring your boyfriend to dinner."_

She smiled, "Thank you SO much dad. I'm sure you'll like him. And I'll need you to promise not to kill him, alright?"

"_Ok, see you later sweetheart."_

"Bye."

Sydney hung up the phone and ran to the living room to see Julian asleep on the sofa. He was beautiful, so peaceful. She found a blanket in the room and lay down beside him in his arms. She wrapped the blanket around them, kissed his forehead, and fell asleep.

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Another month passed and nothing had changed. Julian and Sydney were still madly in love. They were inseparable still. One morning they were sitting by their tree in front of the school, Sydney was in Julian's arms and their fingers were interlocked. "You know, I think there's one thing I've never asked you yet, love," he asked her. She turned her head to look at him, "Where are you planning on going to University?"

"I'm planning on staying here. What about you?"

He frowned, "I'm probably going back to England."

Sydney frowned, "Oh," she whispered, "That's far away."

"You know, we can make this work Syd. We can do a long-distance relationship if you want."

"We don't know what's going to happen. We should decide later, alright?"

"Of course," he kissed her softly, "So, tonight is your big night. You're 18 today, my love."

"I think you're right! I almost forgot! How could I forget something like that?"

"I'm not sure, love, but I'm sure that your father is going to kill me for planning a party in your honour."

"Hey, my father likes you. Don't you remember the night you met him?"

_Flashback_

_Sydney and Julian walked to the table, which was already seating one, hand-in-hand. Jack stood from his chair and hugged Sydney when they got there. He glared at Julian and then shook his hand, "Dad, this is Julian. Julian this is my father, Jack Bristow."_

_Julian nodded nervously at Jack and then they took their seats. "It's nice to meet you Mr Bristow. Sydney's told me much about you."_

_"Sydney hasn't told me anything about you Julian."_

_"Dad, please…" Sydney pleaded, "Don't do this."_

_"How long have you been seeing him Sydney?" he asked._

_"Two months."_

_"And you never told me about this Sydney? Why didn't you tell me?"_

_"You're never home dad. It's not like you really care about anything that goes on in my life."_

_"Sydney, can we do this at home, later?"_

_"No dad, you started this, we can do it here," people in the restaurant began to stare at the three people in the centre of the room. Sydney had tears in her eyes and her jaw was clenched, Julian stroked her hand to try and comfort her. "You can't tell me what to do. I'm not a little girl anymore."_

_"Sydney, I'm your father, I care about you."_

_"If you cared so much, then you'd try and spend more time here, rather than on business trips."_

_Sydney had tears running down her face now and Julian had had enough of this. "Sir, I think we should stop talking about this, it's upsetting everyone here."_

_"Who are you to tell me what to do? You've known my daughter for two months, I've known her since she was born!"_

_"Excuse me sir, but I am the man who loves her with all of his heart. And she doesn't need to take this from you!"_

_Sydney stood, still crying and excused herself from the table, she went outside to get some air. Jack and Julian sat at the table, glaring at each other for a full five minutes until Sydney came back. "I'm going home. Can you drive me Julian?" Sydney asked._

_"Sydney, please just let me drive you home?" her father asked._

_"Dad, no. I just want to be with Julian right now, alright?"_

_"Are you going to come home?" he asked sadly._

_"Yeah, but not right now."_

_"Sydney, has Julian stayed over?" he asked quietly._

_"What! How dare you! How could you ask such a thing!" Sydney screamed._

_"I'm your father, I'm supposed to protect you! I deserve to know!"_

_"Yes!" her father looked at her shocked, "He has spent the night!"_

_"When did this happen?" he said softly._

_"A few nights ago. He stayed in the guest room, dad. It was because his father was in town," she looked down, "And if you want to know why he didn't want to see his father, you should ask him."_

_Sydney walked outside and left her father with Julian standing in front of him. "Sir," Julian said, "I want you to understand that I would never do anything to disrespect your daughter, or you. But, you have hurt her today, and I don't want that to happen again."_

_Julian turned and left the restaurant, leaving behind an embarrassed Jack Bristow._

_End Flashback_

"He gained respect for you that night. I don't think he'd kill you now, seeing how happy you make me."

"Hey, tomorrow, I want you to come over. We can celebrate your birthday together!"

"I actually forgot about that, you know? I forgot that I'm 18 tomorrow."

"Well, I want to warn you. Jessica has taken it upon herself to plan a party for you… I know you didn't get off to a great start, but she really likes you."

"She's not that bad. I can tolerate her now."

"I know, and I'm very proud of you!" he said and kissed her passionately. They were lying together on the sofa and kissing passionately. They rolled over and fell onto the floor. Sydney laughed and they got back onto the sofa and continued where they left off.

--------------------------------------------------------

Sydney and Julian stood in front of his door, they were kissing passionately until the door opened. "SURPRISE!" was screamed from inside. They broke apart, both blushing, and the crowd inside began to giggle. Jessica just looked furious. She didn't understand why Julian wanted to be with Sydney, and not her.

Sydney laughed, "Wow," she breathed out, "Thank you!"

Sark whispered in her ear, "I love you Sydney."

She smiled and they walked inside. Will and Francie were there, holding hands, just like normal. They smiled and hugged Sydney, wishing her a happy birthday.

"Thanks for coming guys. I'm so happy you're here."

"We wouldn't miss it for the world! Jessica didn't invite us, but I guess Julian was expecting that, so he called us."

Sydney sighed, "That's such as Jessica thing to do. But I'm glad Julian called you," she turned and looked at him, "Isn't he perfect?"

Francie laughed, "Yeah, you've got a good one. He loves you Syd."

She smiled, "I know," she nodded at Will, "You've got a good one too Fran."

Francie tilted her head and kissed him, "I know."

Julian walked to Sydney from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing the top of her head. She smiled and turned, kissing him, "Hey. Thanks for inviting them."

"It was not a problem," he frowned.

"What is it? What's wrong, Julian?"

He smiled sadly, "I just realized that we don't have much time left. The year is almost over."

"We have all the time in the world. As long as we work at it, it'll never end."

"I love your optimism," she laughed at him, "I'm a pessimist."

"I love you."

He sighed, "Let's mingle."

-------------------------------------------------------

Sydney ran to the mailbox after school with Julian one afternoon in June, there was a large envelope in the box. When Sydney took it out, she looked at the address and froze. She paled and Julian was suddenly right by her side, taking her hand in his. "Let's go inside and open it," he suggested.

He took her keys from her hand and took her inside. Sydney sat down at the table and stared at the envelope. "My entire future is decided by what's in this envelope," she said evenly.

"You should open it, Syd."

"I can't. You have to do it. Can you please open it for me?"

"Of course," he took the envelope from her stubborn hands and began to slowly tear at the paper. He took out the contents and began to read in his head. When he finished, Sydney was looking at him nervously, he sighed.

"What is it?" she looked down, "I didn't get in, did I?"

"No," Sydney's eyes began to tear, "You did, get in."

Sydney's gaze went back up to his eyes, where she saw tears. He flashed her a quick, sad smile. She couldn't figure out why he was sad until she finally found the reason. "Oh," she whispered, a tear ran down her cheek, "You know, I'm never going to forget you right?"

"I know," he whispered, "It's just… I'm going to miss you so much. I don't know how to live without you anymore."

"Me too."

"This is all becoming so real now. It's been a week since I got the acceptance letter from Oxford, and now you from UCLA… it's just… I don't want to leave any more."

"I don't want you to leave either, but you have to."

"I know."

"You're going to do so well. They'll be so lucky to have you."

"UCLA is lucky too."

"I love you so much Julian," she kissed him furiously, letter forgotten on the table, "I love you so much."

They stood, in each other's arms, kissing passionately, "I love you so much, Syd, I'll never forget you," he whispered between kisses.

They leaned against whatever was stable, tearing at each other's clothing. Somehow they reached Sydney's bedroom, and fell onto the bed. Julian was on top of Sydney, she was tugging at the waistband of his pants when he stopped her, "Syd, are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"I'm sure," she breathed.

Sydney was wearing her pants and a bra, Julian was wearing his pants, and they were both trying to get the remaining clothing off of each other. Finally, Julian was standing off the bed, looking at Sydney with intensity. "You're so beautiful," he whispered as he lowered his body onto hers.

She reached out and grasped his erection and moved her hand along it. It twitched at her touch, "Sydney, you're killing me," he groaned.

"I'm sorry," she looked at him, "I've never done this before."

He kissed her, "Neither have I," he whispered.

She looked at him surprised, and kissed him roughly. She took his erection in her hand again and guided him to her centre. They paused as the tip of his cock rubbed against her wet core. Sydney bit down on her lip as he entered her slowly.

"I love you Sydney," he whispered, "I love you."

Sydney gasped when he pulled out and entered her again. They began to move together slowly, gaining speed as their need for one another grew. Their pace grew and grew as the feelings inside they were so great that the world exploded around them.

They lay together for many minutes until their breathing was regular again, Julian on top of Sydney. When he pulled himself off of her, she rested her head on his chest, "I love you," she whispered groggily, "That was the best night of my life Julian."

He kissed her head, "It was perfect," he noticed her breathing slow, "I love you Sydney," she groaned in response and fell asleep. He fell asleep a few moments later.

------------------------------------------------------

"Sydney?" she heard from the living room. She gasped and jumped out of bed. Her father was home early. She turned and saw Julian sleeping in the bed where she had just been and smiled.

"Dad?" she cried.

"I'm home early, I thought we could do something today. It's your birthday after all."

Julian stirred and turned over. Noticing that Sydney was missing, he woke up. He saw Sydney frantically trying to find some clothing on the floor, "Were you sneaking out on me?" he teased.

She looked at him worriedly, "My father's home early!" she panicked.

"Shit!" he cursed and joined her in the frantic clothing search. "You know, if he finds me here, I'm dead."

"I know!" she whispered. "I love you. I have to go downstairs now, I'll see you later," she kissed his cheek and smiled, "Last night was unforgettable."

"I know. I love you too," he kissed her forehead and opened the window, climbing out.

Sydney ran out of her room into the kitchen where her dad was leaning against the kitchen counter, "Hey dad, you're home early!"

He hugged her and kissed her forehead, "Happy Birthday sweetheart," he looked over her, "You look so grown up, so… different."

Sydney blushed, she was sure that he could see what she had done last night, "Thanks…"

"So, how do you want to celebrate this momentous occasion?" he asked.

"Do you want to go to the pier? It's a gorgeous day."

"Sure, that would be nice. Just you and me today, alright?"

"Of course dad. But tonight I have to go to Julian's house. Francie has planned a party for me."

He sighed, "No alcohol right?"

"None"

"Okay then," he kissed her forehead, "I can't believe you're growing up."

"Dad, how have you not noticed that I'm older?"

"I'm a horrible father, I'm never home…"

Sydney hugged her father, "You're not a horrible father. You're just a little too involved in your work."

"That's why I cancelled the rest of my trip. I got someone to cover for me, I'm not about to miss my only daughter's 18th birthday."

"I love you dad."

-----------------------------------------------------

_Graduation Ceremony_

They were wearing their caps and gowns, waiting for their names to be called off-stage. It was the most bittersweet day of Sydney's life. She was graduating, finally going off to University, where she could finally become a teacher, but Julian was going to be on the other side of the world. She was going to miss him, to no end. Ever since her birthday, they had spent more time together than anyone at school could have thought possible. At their senior prom Jessica had tried something to break them apart, and it had worked for a moment, but they came together again, stronger than before.

_Flashback_

_"Only three more weeks of school left," Sydney said to Francie the morning of the prom._

"_Yeah, but hey! At least we'll be together, right?"_

"_I guess. I'm just going to miss Julian more than anything."_

"_I know sweetie."_

_Sydney smiled weakly and sighed, "Well, how about we start getting ready for tonight?"_

"_Sure!" Francie said excitedly._

_A few hours later, the girls had their hair done and were painting their nails, "Syd, can I ask you a personal question? And feel free to slap me, call me a bitch and kick me out of your house for asking this," Sydney laughed._

"_You can ask me anything Fran," Sydney replied._

"_Have you and Julian… had… sex?"_

_Sydney gasped, then blushed, "Um…"_

"_Wait, you don't have to answer that. I was just curious. I mean… I'm thinking about going to the next level with Will and… well… I was curious to know what it was like."_

"_Why would you think that I've done that?"_

"_Well, you and Julian are so in love. You're the perfect couple."_

_Sydney smiled, "Yeah… we have."_

_Francie giggled, "I knew it!" she squealed, "What was it like? Was it nice? Awkward? Was he a perfect gentleman?"_

_Sydney was glowing, "It was perfect. Not awkward at all, and he was so nice about it. I love him so much Francie."_

"_It was your first time, right?"_

"_Yeah, it was. His too," she added._

_"Really? I would have expected him to have done that already."_

"_He said that he was waiting for me. Isn't that sappy and romantic?"_

"_Yeah, but you two are just that."_

_She giggled, "I know."_

"_Syd, do you mind me asking you if it hurt?"_

"_No. It didn't hurt. He was so careful and loving and tender. It was the best night of my life."_

_Francie hugged her, "I think I'm ready to have sex with Will. I want to be with him."_

_Sydney squealed, "I'm so happy for you guys, it's so obvious how he feels about you."_

_Sydney and Francie were finishing with their make-up when the doorbell rang. "They're here," they said to each other and went to the door. Sydney opened the door and someone she had not been expecting entered her home. "Danny?" she asked, "What are you doing here?"_

"_You know how Jessica is totally in love with Julian right?"_

_Sydney nodded, "Francie, why don't you finish getting ready," she suggested and watched Francie leave the room, "What is this about, Danny?"_

"_I see you and Julian every day, Syd, and I can see how much you care about him. I overhead her talking to one of her other friends about tonight. She said that she is going to have sex with him after the prom."_

"_What?" Sydney whispered, "Have you told this to Julian?" she asked._

"_I thought that I should tell you. You can't let her get away with this Syd. I don't want to see you hurt again."_

_Sydney sighed, "Thanks Danny."_

"_I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you Syd," he kissed her cheek, "You look beautiful tonight."_

"_Thank you. You look great too. Melena is lucky to be going with you."_

"_See you later," he said as he left the house._

_Francie came down the stairs when she heard Danny leave, "What was that all about?" she asked._

"_Just our plot twist of the evening."_

_Suddenly, Sydney's father came through the front door, "Sydney! I'm glad I didn't miss you!" he stood and looked her over, "You look beautiful."_

_Ever since the first time he had met Julian, he had been around a lot more. It was making Sydney feel much better about their relationship. It also seemed that he approved of Julian, which was a nice devopment._

"_Julian should be here any minute."_

"_I didn't want to miss this night. It's very important. I'm going to be one of those annoying parents who takes many pictures of his daughter on her prom night."_

_Sydney laughed, "Well, I'm glad you got here in time," she said when the doorbell rang. Jack went to it and opened the door to see Julian and Will standing on the front porch, each wearing a black tux, holding their corsages for their dates._

"_Come in," he said, "Julian, Sydney doesn't have a curfew tonight, but I expect you to take good care of her, not to corrupt her and to have her home at a reasonable time."_

_He nodded, "Of course, sir."_

_He could finally see Sydney standing behind the wall in the living room, and stopped in his tracks when he absorbed her attire. She was wearing a burgundy floor-length dress which was so unbelievably gorgeous that it took his breath away. Sydney smiled and blushed when she realized that he was admiring her outfit. "Hey," she breathed._

"_You are so beautiful, my love," he said when he got hold of his emotions._

"_Thanks, you look amazing," she walked to him and kissed him softly, "I wish my father wasn't here," she whispered._

_He coughed and blushed, "This is for you," he handed her the corsage._

"_Thanks," she replied._

"_Shall we?" he put his arm out for her._

"_Oh, yeah. Just one thing first…" she paused, "Please try and stay away from Jessica. Danny just came by to tell me that she's planning on seducing you tonight."_

"_It'll never_ _work. I'm totally in love with you."_

_End Flashback_

"Sydney Bristow" she heard from the stage, she walked across, shook her principal's hand and walked to the other end of the stage. A few minutes later she heard Julian's name being called. When he got to the other end of the stage they embraced and Sydney's eyes filled with tears, "Two more weeks," she whispered.

He looked at her with tears in his own eyes and nodded, "I know."

"This can't end now, Julian. I can't live without you. I don't know how, anymore."

"I'm going to see you again Sydney. I'm going to find you again."

"I know," she kissed him again, and the crowd of people began to scream and applaud. Graduation was over. "We still have time, though."

--------------------------------------------------

It was time. Two weeks had passed and now, they were trying to say goodbye at the airport. Sydney was crying and Julian had tears in his eyes. Neither of them wanted to be away from the other.

Their foreheads were pressed together, "I'm going to love you forever Syd. Don't forget me."

"I never could," she sobbed, "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll be back visiting you before you know it. I've already booked my flight for the week before you go to school."

She nodded and wiped her tears away. His flight was called and he reluctantly left. Sydney stayed and watched his plane take off, then went back to her car with Francie, who had waited in the parking lot for her.

_This is going to be a tough four years,_ Sydney thought to herself when she returned home. _We'll find each other again. We'll be together again._

She knew he was right. Everything would be okay, and they would be together again.


	3. Part III

**Chapter Three**

**-------------------------------------------**

**Five Years Later**

"Francie!" Sydney called to her roommate as she entered their apartment, "I'm back!"

Sydney had just gone on another "business trip" for SD-6 last week and was back two days early. She had thought that it would be a nice surprise until she had opened the door and seen the men's and women's clothing thrown all over the apartment. She didn't really understand what was going on until she heard groaning and bouncing bedsprings from the bedroom. She blushed and quickly rushed out of the house as soon as she heard Francie scream out Will's name.

She got back into her car and drove to the pier. She loved it here because she would always think of happier times when she was Julian's girl. She missed him. He was her first love. She regretted what had happened between them.

_Flashback_

_**Three years earlier**_

_Sydney and Julian had been missing each other like crazy. It was the day before Christmas eve, and Sydney couldn't wait for Julian to arrive. She was waiting for him at the airport when she finally saw him coming through the gates. He dropped his bag at his side and she ran into his open arms, kissing him furiously, "I missed you so much Julian," she whispered._

"_Syd, let's go to your place," he suggested._

_They picked up his suitcase at the baggage claim and they drove back to her apartment. When they walked inside, Francie and Will were waiting for them. They greeted him with a large hug and Francie gave him a quick peck on the cheek._

_When they were standing in the doorway to the kitchen Francie started giggling and Sydney didn't understand why she was, until Will pointed up to the ceiling. Sydney looked up and saw what they were looking at… Mistletoe. Julian dipped Sydney and kissed her passionately. Francie and Will laughed at them, called them sappy and left them alone._

_Sydney and Julian went to her bedroom and dropped his things on the floor before Sydney shoved Julian against the wall forcefully placing kisses upon his burning skin. "I missed you, love," he whispered, "I've wanted you so bad."_

_She moaned when his lips began to suck on a pulse point on her neck. He turned her around and was pushing her against the wall. Playing with the waistband of his pants, he was trying to lift the hem of her shirt. He tugged it over her head and dropped it carelessly on the floor. She pushed him back a bit and tore off his button-down oxford shirt, then shoved him forcefully against the bed. They collapsed onto the bouncy mattress and were rolling around on top of the covers, groaning and pawing at each other's bodies, when they heard a knock at the door._

"_Are you alright?" Francie asked amused, "It sounded like someone fell in there…"_

_Sydney got up and opened the door, not caring about her lack of shirt. Francie took one look at the two of them and told them that they would leave them alone in the apartment, so they could feel free to do… whatever._

_They were fairly tame until they heard the front door close. When they heard that, Julian frantically tore off Sydney's bra. Cupping one of her breasts in his hand and massaging the other, Sydney moaned into his mouth and then undid his belt. Julian let go of her breasts with much protest from Sydney and took off his pants, placing them carefully across the back of a chair, "You haven't changed, you still do that," Sydney said breathlessly._

_When he came back to her, he saw that she was no longer wearing any pants. Just her black lace g-string. "That's a sexy piece you're wearing," he whispered seductively._

"_I wore it for you… I thought you might want to…" she moved to kiss his neck, but paused, "take it off," she whispered into his ear, licking his earlobe._

"_But my hands are occupied, darling," he said as he massaged her clit. She arched her back and ground her hips into his hand, "So… good… that feels so… good Julian."_

_When he could feel that she was about to cum, he stopped his ministrations and she protested by pouting. She couldn't stay too mad though, because once he had stopped that, he tore the flimsy lace and tossed it aside. He quickly pinned her down on the bed and thrust himself into her. Their pace was frantic, from being separated for so long. Sydney grasped onto Julian's hips as she ground her hips into his. Julian groaned and thrust into her hard when he came, whispering her name over and over again. The feeling of him cumming inside of her triggered her own release._

_They collapsed onto the bed in a sweaty heap of limbs. Their breathing heavy and frantic. "I missed you Julian," Sydney whispered._

"_Syd, I missed you too…" Julian kissed her forehead and pushed off of her. They laid side-by-side on the bed with their fingers intertwined until they fell asleep._

_End Flashback_

The next morning was when it happened. Julian ended it. And it broke Sydney's heart.

_Flashback_

_She woke up with Julian next to her and smiled. It was a perfect day. Julian was over, it was Christmas Eve and she had just been offered a job for the CIA! She couldn't tell Julian, but she knew that he would be proud of her for getting a great job with a "bank", so soon after high school._

_Julian stirred, and Sydney kissed him softly. She was smiling, but he didn't' seem to return her happiness. "What's wrong?" she asked him._

_He groaned and pushed her off of him. Sydney asked him what was wrong, again, but he didn't answer. She was about to leave the room and shower when he said, "Sydney, we need to talk."_

_She knew what was coming. She knew what those words always meant. It was over._

_She tried to put on a brave face, "What is it, Julian?"_

"_I dropped out of Oxford…"_

_This was not at all what she had been expecting, "What? Why would you do that?"_

"_I got a job. I'm not supposed to tell you, but I have to. I can't keep something like this from you."_

"_Julian, what kind of job did you get? Are you a spy?" she said jokingly._

_He blanched, "Um…"_

"_What?" she asked, "You're a spy?" she whispered harshly._

"_MI6 offered me a job. I'm going undercover."_

_Sydney frowned, "For how long?" she asked._

"_Indefinitely. I'm going to work for someone named Irina Derevko," he kissed Sydney's temple, "You can't tell this to anyone Sydney. You need to keep this secret."_

_Sydney nodded into his shoulder, "I know. I will."_

"_I love you Sydney, no matter what happens, know that. I will _always_ love you."_

"_I love you too," she pulled back from him and looked into his eyes, "I have to tell you something."_

"_What is it, Syd?" he bit his lip, "You're not breaking up with me, are you?"_

"_I don't want you getting hurt," she whispered. A tear slipped down her cheek and Julian watched it drop. "I'm working with the CIA."_

"_Oh," Julian stood and walked to the window, "When did that happen?"_

"_A few months ago… I was going to tell you last time you were here, but they told me they would kill you. I can't let you die Julian. That's why I think…"_

"_What, Sydney? What do you think?"_

"_We can't say here, they've got the place bugged–"_

_He interrupted her, "I think we should stop seeing each other," he blurted out._

_Sydney turned to him, shocked, "What? What brought this on, Julian? A moment ago you were telling me that you love me, and now you're telling me you want to break up!" He wasn't saying anything which was making everything she was feeling worse. She walked over to him and began to pound her fists on his chest. "I hate you, you son of a bitch! I hate you!"_

_He was holding her against his chest, letting her pound away at his chest, watching helplessly as the tears ran down her cheeks. "I have to go, Sydney. I do love you."_

_He watched her slide onto the floor with her back against the wall. She was breaking. He hated himself for causing her so much pain, but he knew that this would be easier. If he was going to go undercover as "Mr Sark", he needed to leave her. It was to keep her safe._

"_Please leave," she choked out, "Just get out."_

_He turned and left the room, leaving his bags behind._

_End Flashback_

She hadn't seen or heard from him since that day. It had been five years now. She wondered if he ever thought about her anymore, or if he even remembered her still. She knew that she thought about what _could_ have been almost every single day.

It was now two months since Danny had died. She felt horrible that it hadn't affected her more than it had. She couldn't help but be a little happy that this now made it possible for her to find Julian again, but she still wanted revenge. SD-6 broke her heart and they needed to pay. But she didn't know how she would get back at them.

She turned around and was heading back to her car when she bumped into someone. She dropped her purse and her belongings were strewn out on the ground in front of them, "I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," Sydney apologized.

"Don't worry about it," his voice caused Sydney to stop moving, "Here," he placed her lipstick in her hand, "This fell out."

"Thank you," she whispered shakily. She stood and the man froze, taking off his sunglasses he smiled.

"Sydney? Sydney Bristow?" he asked.

She nodded, "Hello Julian."

"Oh my god," he ran his hand through his hair, a sign that he was nervous, "Um… how are you?"

"As good as can be expected," she gave a small, weak, smile.

He looked down at her hand and saw the engagement ring on her finger. He smiled sadly at her and spoke, "Congratulations," he said. She looked at him confused, "On the engagement."

She smiled and her eyes welled up with tears, "Thanks," she whispered.

He put his hand on her arm and stroked it softly, "What's wrong?" he asked her softly.

She pulled him into her and placed her head into the crook of his neck, "Do you still work for MI-6?" she whispered into his ear. He nodded softly and she continued, "I need your help."

She pulled back from him and sighed shakily, "Can we go some place and talk?" she asked softly. He nodded and they walked side-by-side to a small cafe overlooking the ocean.

They sat, watching the tide roll in, drinking their coffees, "This brings back memories," he said, "Good memories."

She smiled, "Yeah," _our first date,_ she thought.

"So what do you need my help with?" he asked.

"My fiancée was killed two months ago," Julian's harsh intake of breath showed his shock and sadness for her.

"Oh my god, Sydney. That's horrible. What happened?" he reached forward and took her hand in his.

"I told him. I told him everything, and they found out. When they did, they killed him," there were tears running down her cheeks. The other customers were staring at them, but they didn't notice. Julian got up and took Sydney into his arms, clinging on to her. "I need to get revenge."

Julian nodded, "I'll help you, Syd," he whispered, "I'll help you."

-----------------------------------------------------------

When they left the cafe, they drove to an abandoned warehouse downtown. They sat down on a couple of crates that were sitting around and began to talk about the past two years. The first thing out of Sydney's mouth was, "I can't forgive you for leaving me like that. Not yet."

He nodded and looked at her sadly, "If there was one thing that I could take back, it would be what I said to you that morning. I am truly sorry about that."

"I've moved on, but I still can't forget it. It really hurt me Julian. But nothing hurt as much as… well, I guess you want to know what happened," at his slow nod she continued. "I came back from a mission to find… the apartment was ransacked. It looked like there had been an earthquake or something. Then I saw the bathroom door open. I don't know what made me go in there, but… I saw him. I saw him in there," tears were running down her cheeks. Julian knew that he shouldn't touch her right now, so he sat watching her helplessly. "There was so much blood. He was wrapped in our shower curtain. The blood was everywhere."

Julian sat there shaking his head. He wanted to comfort her, but she wouldn't let him. The only thing he could do right now would be to help her get revenge.

"What was his name?" he asked.

"You knew him. It was Danny."

"Danny? That guy who was an ass to you back in high school? The boy who dumped you to become popular? Sydney, why would you do that!"

"Julian," she said calmly, "He changed. After the… prom… event, he was different. He treated me nicely. He was really sweet," she smiled while thinking about the past, "After what happened between us," she gestured to him, "He helped me through it. He was amazing. I don't know where I would be now if it wasn't for him."

He reached out and grasped her hand, "Sydney, we'll get them for this. They are going to pay."

She looked at him with teary eyes and smiled, "Thank you," she said to him.

"Have you heard of Mr Sark?"

She nodded, "Yes, I have. Why?"

"He's my undercover assignment."

"You're working with him?" she asked with wide eyes.

"Something like that," he chuckled lightly, "Sydney, I _am_ him."

"What!" she screamed. She stood quickly and the force knocked over the crate she had been sitting on. "Why? How can you do all of those… things?"

"Sydney, this is why I had to end it! Don't you understand!" he grabbed hold of her arms and stopped her from pacing around the room, "I had to take this assignment because I can actually make a difference in the world. I'm working with MI-6 to take down 'The Man', and _yes,_ I have to do bad things, but this woman is much, much worse."

"The man is a woman?" she asked.

"Yeah," Julian smirked, "Sydney, we can do this."

"You know, I could have protected myself. You didn't have to end it."

"I had to Sydney. There's so much you don't know."

"Then tell me."

"I can't," he shook his head, "I can't do that Sydney. But, I will contact you soon. You'll see," he turned and left the warehouse.

---------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks later Sydney had not heard from Julian once yet. She was worried, but hadn't heard about Mr Sark being killed in action or anything, so that alleviated her fears. It was now, that she found out about SD-6 not really being a part of the CIA. That it was a terrorist organization – the people that she thought she had been fighting.

She found out from her father and decided to join him as a double agent for the CIA. Julian finally contacted her a few nights after she joined the other agency.

"Sydney," she answered her phone.

"It's me," he said.

"You finally called. I've been waiting."

"Meet me across the street at the park in ten minutes."

She nodded, but then realized that he couldn't see her through the phone, "Sure."

He chuckled on the other end, "Your pause makes me think that you were nodding again. You always used to do that."

She laughed, "Yeah, see you soon," then hung up the phone.

Ten minutes later she was standing in the middle of the park, waiting for Julian or a sign from him. Finally, he spoke from behind a play structure. "Sydney, I heard about you joining the CIA."

"How could you… never mind. I don't want to know how you found that out."

"I have a contact there. MI-6, remember?"

"Right. You just _pretend_ to be a terrorist. I forgot," she said sarcastically.

"You know what? Maybe this just wasn't a good idea. I think I'm going to go back to London," he turned and left, but Sydney ran after him and grabbed his arm. He saw her and saw the tears in her eyes.

"Please don't. Julian, I need you right now."

"I'm sorry."

Sydney looked down at her left hand and frowned, "I took it off today. Francie helped me get through it. I feel really naked without it on, but I have to get used to it now."

Julian just nodded, "I came to talk to you about what's going to happen now. I'm going to try and gain Sloane's trust, and you and I will, _in time_, bring down the Alliance."

"And how are we going to do that?"

"We're going to gut them from the inside-out."

"That's just made everything clear," she said sarcastically.

"I thought sarcasm was _my_ thing dear," he said, "Well, you're going to work with the CIA, use their resources, pretend that you're the wonderful agent that you are. I'm going to get into SD-6, gain Sloane's trust and then, when the CIA is ready, we'll find the necessary information that we can use to bring them down."

"We'll need to come up with a more detailed plan soon, Julian. You have to tell me when you are going to join SD-6. I want to know ahead of time," he nodded.

"Also, since I have to come across as a terrorist, you have to pretend that you don't know me. And you have to pretend that you hate me… Do you think you can do that?"

She slapped his arm teasingly, "Of course I can do that."

"Good luck."

"I don't need you to wish me luck, you son of a bitch," she hissed.

Julian smiled and then shook her hand. "Anything you need to talk about? I'm here to listen to you."

"I actually _do_ need to talk to you about something," Julian nodded. She paused and looked down to the ground, "I'm feeling something for my new handler; something that I feel guilty for feeling. I'm attracted to him. It's wrong of me because of Danny being gone for only three months. I shouldn't be doing this," she scolded herself. "Do you think it's too fast to be feeling something like this?"

"Sydney, you have to move on. It's just natural," he was disappointed that it wasn't _him_ that she was feeling something for, because he still felt for her. Sure, he had other women since Sydney, but no one compared. He would always be in love with Sydney.

"You should go. We've been out here for a while."

They embraced awkwardly and said their goodbyes.

-------------------------------------------------------

Six months passed and Sydney was more infatuated with Vaughn than she had been before. She couldn't act on it because that would have been wrong. The CIA looked down upon that, _and_ she couldn't forget the last two guys that she had dated. One broke up with her to try and "protect" her and the other ended up dead. She couldn't have another person she cared about ending up dead because of her.

She got a bi-monthly update from Julian stating that they were basically in the same place since they had started. She was a little pissed off that he had been avoiding her since she had told him about Danny and now Vaughn. She thought that he would be there for her, but he hadn't been. Their last phone call had been very cryptic. He said something about seeing her soon, but didn't say where or when, so she kept her eyes open at all times.

Sometimes she would wake up in the morning and think she could smell his scent, but she knew it wasn't true. She would get out of bed, forget about him and go to work. Every morning, the same thing.

Six months and three days had passed since she last saw him and she was getting angry with him. She went to bed in her pyjamas and fell asleep almost instantly. It was a deep sleep.

Julian opened her window and climbed into the room silently. He had been doing this once a month, just watching her sleep. He needed to be close to her. She didn't know, couldn't know. After they had broken up, he had hired someone to take photographs of her every once in a while. He needed to feel that she was safe, to know that she was happy. He had known about Danny. He hadn't known about the engagement, but he knew about their life together.

He did this whenever he found something new about their plans. This week had been bad. He had figured out what was going to happen. He wanted to tell her about Vaughn, but he couldn't. Not yet.

So he did what he did every time he watched her sleep. He kissed her forehead lightly, told her to sleep tight, and then whispered softly, confessing his love for her – a love that she would never know again. Then he climbed out her window into the dark night.

----------------------------------------------------------

**Warsawa, Poland**

Sydney walked down the street with her travel book and her backpack on her back. She looked around confused and stopped a Warsaw native, "Robi wy mówicie Angielski?" (Do you speak English?) she stuttered out, reading it straight from the book with horrible pronunciation.

The woman nodded, "Yes," she said with a strong Polish accent.

"Do you know where I can find the American Embassy?" Sydney asked.

The woman looked at her like she was crazy and pointed at the building in front of them, then walked off shaking her head.

Sydney put the guidebook back in her backpack and reached up to turn on her com. "Dixon I'm about to do the distraction, are you ready?"

"_We're good, Syd."_

She pulled out a large white piece of fabric from her bag and spray painted it with some red-spray paint. "NO MORE DEATH!" she screamed (in English) over and over again. "STOP THE WAR!"

Inside, Dixon was trying to get some Rambaldi papers from a storage unit in the basement of the American embassy, _"Syd, we've got them. We're heading your way."_

"Got that," she whispered. People began to yell curses at her, _just on time_, she thought. She began to yell at the mockers and when they started throwing things at her she huffed and packed her things up, leaving when Dixon came out of the building.

When they returned to the States, Sydney went straight to the SD-6 building after dropping off her bags at home. She walked into Sloane's office to drop off the artifact that Dixon had stolen and froze when she saw someone else in the room, "Agent Bristow," Sloane said, "Allow me to introduce you to Mr Sark."

Sydney held in her shock and shook his hand, nodding at him, "Pleased to meet you," she said gruffly.

"Same to you," he added.

"Mr Sark will be working with us for the next little while," Sloane said, "He will be your new partner."

Sydney turned quickly to Sloane, "What about Dixon?" she asked.

"Agent Dixon has been tasked to a lighter assignment."

"What? Why?" Sydney asked.

"He requested it."

Sydney shook her head and turned back to Julian, "You got a first name?" she asked him.

He shook his head and laughed, "That's a tale for another time," he answered.

Sydney turned and left the room. She saw Dixon at his desk and walked straight to him, "Dixon, why didn't you tell me that you requested a lighter assignment?" she asked hurt.

"Sloane asked me not to. I think it had something to do with testing betrayal or… I don't know. He just told me not to tell you."

"Well, I have a new partner now."

"I saw him. He's a pretty boy."

"He is. I think he's too cocky," Sydney smiled inside, _really cocky…_ she thought.

"Well, watch your back."

"I will," she got off the edge of his desk and hugged him, "Thank you Dixon."

---------------------------------------------------------

The next week, they were off on their first mission as partners. They had to pose as newlyweds and it was scaring Sydney. She had found that she was over Michael, but she was feeling really attracted to Julian again. She didn't want to feel that again. She didn't want to get hurt by him again. She knew it would happen if she let him in again.

They were sitting on the plane, their private plane, when Julian came next to her and took a box out of his suit pocket. He opened it and Sydney saw the gleaming diamond lying on the satin cover. He took the ring out and slipped it on her finger, "Even if we're on a mission, I want you wearing the best," he kissed her palm, "You deserve the world Sydney, you always have."

Sydney blushed, "Julian, please," she pleaded with him.

"Please what?" he asked. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, "Stop this?"

He kissed her neck and Sydney just sat there, doing nothing to stop him. He continued to suck on a pulse point on her neck. He kept moving his hand all over her body until her breathing became heavy. She kissed him roughly and tugged at his shirt, pulling it over his head.

"Syd, we shouldn't do this," he said breathlessly.

"You started it," she countered.

He lifted her skirt and moved his hand up the inside of her thigh. She gasped when his hand covered her most intimate place. He began to rub her clit softly and slowly and she started moving against his hand. She started undoing the buttons of her shirt and pulled it off. She lay down on the bed in her bra and skirt. "It's been too long Syd," he said.

She lifted her hips on the bed and he reached behind her, cupping her ass before undoing her skirt. He tugged it slowly down her body and she flipped them over when her skirt was lying on the floor. She tugged off his pants and saw his erection in front of her face. She grinned like a Cheshire cat and took him in her hand. She began to pump him and he groaned, his head flying back into the pillows when she licked the pre-cum off his cock. She was just about to take him into her mouth when they were interrupted by a voice over the intercom. Syd stood up and reached for her skirt, "Sir, we're about to land, we ask that you return to your seat and put on your seatbelts."

"That isn't going to happen again Julian, it was a mistake."

He nodded and dressed himself, both of them buckling up. He looked over at Sydney who looked like she was about to cry, "Syd, what's wrong?" he asked her softly.

"It's only been nine months. I shouldn't be doing this!"

"Sydney, you can't beat yourself up over that. You said it was a mistake and I'll accept that. I don't want you hurt again," he reached out to touch her shoulder when she wrenched her body away.

"Don't touch me," she pleaded, "Please don't touch me."

"Okay Syd."

"I'm sorry," she whispered and moved to another seat further away from him.

--------------------------------------------------------


	4. Part IV

**Chapter Four**

Their plane touched down a few hours later. Sydney had fallen asleep during that time and Julian tried to wake her, but nothing worked. He carried her out of the plane and placed her gently in the passenger seat of his car. They drove to the hotel and Sydney woke when they stopped in the parking lot. "You ready my love?"

"Love? What?" she asked drowsily.

He kissed her neck and she blushed, he whispered in her ear, "The mission."

Sydney coughed and nodded her head, "Thanks for waking me… wait… How did I get in the car?" she asked.

"You fell asleep on the plane so I carried you into the car."

"Thank you," he went to open his door but Sydney's hand on his wrist stopped him, "Julian… I'm sorry for… for freaking out earlier. I was out of line."

He shook his head, "You weren't out of line Sydney. You lost your fiancée. It's understandable."

Sydney nodded her head and took a deep breath, "Ready?" she asked.

"Ready," he opened the door and then went to her side and opened hers, "Let's go love."

They walked into the hotel lobby and went straight to the front desk, with Sydney smiling on his arm, they checked in. "Hi, I'm Mr Brennan, this is my wife Mrs Brennan," he kissed the bridge of her nose and she giggled, "I'm still not used to saying that, love."

"Newlyweds?" the concierge asked.

"That obvious?" Sydney asked smiling.

"A little," he said blankly. The concierge looked down at her computer, "I have you in the Presidential Suite, here are your keys," she handed them the keys with a plastered on smile, "Enjoy your stay."

They insisted on taking their own bags to their room. When they got up there, they took their laptops and other equipment out of their bags, "Syd, there's something you need to know."

"Is now really the right time, Julian? We're just setting up."

"Now is the only time I can tell you this."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"There's something you don't know about the mission…"

"God, you're annoying. Just tell me!"

"You have to be a stripper!" he said quickly.

Sydney just stared at him in disbelief with her mouth wide open, "What!" she shrieked.

"You have to be an exotic dancer. You have to get on a stage and strip for men to see. I will be there, Sloane will be there, thankfully your father will _not_ be there."

"Sloane will be there! Sloane will be watching me STRIP MY CLOTHES OFF ON STAGE!" she was now pacing the room, "This can't be happening. I can't be doing this," she pinched herself, "This is a dream. A really horrible dream. You can't really be here, Danny's not dead, I'm just in a very, _very_ bad dream."

Julian sat on the bed and watched her pace, _Does she really want me to leave that badly?_ He wondered.

He was so immersed in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed the tears streaming down her face, "Syd," she continued pacing, "Sydney come here," he tugged her arm, pulling her to sit next to him.

"I can't do this. I can't live without him anymore. I have to kill Sloane. This will all be over then."

"We can do that Syd, we just have to wait. Be patient. It's for the mission. When this mission is finished, we're one step closer to bringing down Arvin Sloane."

She nodded against his shoulder, "Why do you want to take him down?" she asked.

"That's a tale for another time."

She nodded again and wiped her tears away, "I have to go shopping now," she stated bravely.

"Shopping?" he asked.

"I have to wear something that I can strip away."

He laughed at her seductive tone, "Syd, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

She left the hotel with Julian and once they got a couple of blocks away they separated. He went off to a cafe and Sydney was instructed to call him when she was finished so they could re-enter the hotel together, making it seem as though they had been together all along.

He sat at a table watching the crowds pass by, fiddling with the platinum band on his ring finger. He was stricken with a feeling of contentment. Sydney was his "wife" for this week. It made him think back to the old days where he was actually thinking of asking her to be his wife. He would have been so much happier. Instead, he had to go and screw everything up. He had to break her heart. None of this would have happened if he hadn't broken up with her back on that horrible Christmas morning.

He regretted that morning more than anything in his entire life. The second most thing was his life right now. Seeing Sydney again, after so long, keeping this secret from her… he had almost told her today. He just didn't know how to break her heart again.

----------------------------------------------------

Sydney was in the "adult clothing" store looking at all the different garments, and all she could think about was covering herself up with more and more layers. She felt dirty being in here. But then she figured out how she could get through it; she would imagine that she was stripping for Danny in their bedroom. She then picked out many items and tried them on.

Left the store two hours later carrying a bag full of erotic clothing that was easy to take off and looked unbelievably sexy. She actually wanted to see Sloane's reaction to her without her normal business suit on. After all, the other day he did say that he felt like a father to her sometimes. She also wanted to see Julian's reaction. She wasn't ready to actually have a relationship with anyone, but it would be fun to tease.

---------------------------------------------------

They get to the club and they separate. Sydney goes backstage to get ready and Julian goes in and meets Sloane and whatever man he is supposed to steal something from. He can't tell the difference any more. They are all the same now, there have been too many.

Thirty minutes have gone by and an announcer comes over the loudspeaker to announce Sydney's arrival, "Next on the bill for tonight is a once in a lifetime performance. I'd like you all to welcome 'Raven'". Many men suddenly cheered out when Sydney came into view. Julian's view was obstructed by some large bloke who was watching Sydney with a particular fascination. He moved to the right and finally saw what he was looking at.

The first thing that caught his eye was her long black wig. The hair was flowing around the small of her back. Then he noticed what she was wearing; a sheer black merrywidow, black thong and black stockings. She lifted up her leg and wrapped it around the pole in the middle of the stage, spinning her body around the pole and when she was on the floor of the stage, she crawled over towards Julian.

She climbed off the stage and rubbed herself lightly against Julian's crotch, which was growing harder with every moment that passed. She moved on to Sloane and moved her ass in his face. He looked away disgusted, and Sydney smiled. She moved on to Sloane's associate and took the key-card from his pocket as she gave him a short lap dance, went back to Julian and handed the card off to him. She got back on the stage and finished her last five minutes of dancing, then went off stage. A while after, she waited out back for Julian to meet her. She was surprised when she saw Sloane's associate come towards her.

"You are very beautiful… Raven," he said.

He continued walking towards her. When he got close enough he pushed her against the wall, "Hey! Get off!" she screamed.

He held her wrists above her head and kissed her neck, "Let me go! Get off!" she screamed again. Tears were building up in her eyes, blurring the world around her. The man's hands let go of her right arm but still held her left above her head. She was struggling, trying to break free, but no matter what she tried, he wouldn't let her go.

The tears were now streaming down her cheeks. The man had moved his hand down to the waistband of her pants. Sydney was shaking. She couldn't move. The man began to undo the button of her pants and moved his finger to her clit. Sydney finally gained some composure and screamed, "Please, Somebody!"

"Shut up you little girl," he said with a Russian accent. He reached down and undid his pants, sliding them down around his knees. He was rock-hard. Sydney then realized what was happening. He was going to rape her.

She was struggling and she screamed again, "Help! Please!" and then she heard a gun shot ring out. The man dropped to the ground on top of Sydney. She was shaking and crying and trying to get out from under the man, then saw Julian running towards her with tears in his eyes.

"Syd! Oh my god… I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," he kept repeating, "I shouldn't have let this happen."

"Please, Julian… Home," she whispered before passing out in his arms.

"I'd take you no where else my love," he carried her to the car and placed her in the front seat, he got into the driver's seat and drove to his home.

When he got into the driveway, he picked up Sydney who was still unconscious, and went to her room, placing her in the bed. He undressed her carefully and put on some comfortable sweatpants and a sweatshirt. He felt uncomfortable doing that, but he thought that she would feel better waking up in comfortable clothes, rather than the leather outfit that she had been wearing.

He sat by her side for many hours before leaving. He wanted to die. He wanted to take a gun to his head and pull the trigger. He couldn't live with himself for letting this happen to her. It was the most terrifying moment of his life, when he had heard her screaming and whimpering in the back alley. He would never forget that moment.

When he left her room, he went straight to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of tequila. He ended up drinking half the bottle in a very small amount of time. He didn't know how long he had been drinking, but before long, he was leaning against the wall on the floor. His arms were by his side and his legs were sprawled out in front of him. He was half asleep when he remembered her screaming again.

He relived the entire experience over and over again until he was broken. The bottle fell out of his hand and he began to shake violently with sobs. He didn't notice Sydney's screaming for a long time because he was so stricken with emotion. When he finally heard it, he jumped up, his body not even realizing he was drunk, and ran into Sydney's room to see her shaking and screaming in bed.

"Sydney," he said softly, trying to wake her gently.

"Please stop," she whispered. Tears were running down her cheeks.

He shook her gently, "Syd, it's only a dream. I'm here, I'm here, please wake up."

She gasped and her eyes opened. She saw Julian's face and immediately clung to him, soaking his shirt with tears. "It's alright Sydney, I won't let anything happen to you again."

When she settled down she looked at her clothing and laughed, "Did you change my clothes?" she asked.

"Yeah, I did. I'm sorry about that I just thought you would be more comfortable…" he stopped when he saw that she was fine with it.

"It's alright, really. Thank you. I wouldn't have wanted to wake up in leather. It's way too uncomfortable."

They paused as Julian rubbed her back soothingly. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

She shook her head, "No, I just want you to hold me…" she said hesitantly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you," he whispered to her.

"You did. You stopped it."

"Maybe we should talk right now. I think that if you hold me and we talk, we can get through this."

"Syd, you need to rest. I'll stay with you now, and we can talk in a few hours."

"'Kay," she mumbled. He was surprised as to how fast she fell asleep. He laid her down on the bed, but her arms were wrapped around his neck. When he tried to move her, she held on tighter. He finally gave up and climbed into bed next to her, falling asleep as quickly as she had.

-------------------------------------------------------

She woke up with the sun beaming on her face from the window. It was warm. Her whole body was unusually warm. Moving slightly, she felt a tight pressure around her waist. Looking down, she saw Julian's arms wrapped tightly around her. She smelled the stale alcohol on his breath.

He stirred and opened his eyes suddenly. Watching him wake, she smiled. "Hey," he whispered.

"Hey."

"How are you feeling?"

"Better," she smirked and looked down, "Thanks for last night."

"It was no problem," he reached up and massaged his temples.

"I see you had a bit of a drinking binge last night."

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Seriously, what you do to yourself is your business. I'm just happy that you were here for me. Thank you for that," she said sincerely.

"I'm glad I was here," he looked to the window and then back to her, "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked hesitantly.

She nodded softly, "I think I should."

"You don't have to."

"I want to," she said delicately. They sat for many minutes, just breathing. At least ten minutes passed before either of them spoke.

"What happened?" Julian asked.

"I was out back, waiting for you, and then that man came up to me…" _"You are very beautiful… Raven," he said. He continued walking towards her. When he got close enough he pushed her against the wall, "Hey! Get off!" she screamed._ The moment passed through her mind again. "He told me I was beautiful, then pushed me against the wall. He wouldn't get off me. He was going to rape me, Julian. I have no idea what would have happened to me if you hadn't come."

He held her tightly to his chest and felt her body shake lightly with sobs, brought up from the bad memories.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there earlier. If I could have prevented any of this…" he was cut off by her finger on his lips.

"I know. Okay? I know that you feel responsible, but it wasn't your fault. I just need time to get through this and forget."

"I'll help you."

She smiled, "Everyone will help."

"Oh? And who is everyone?"

"Will, Francie, you… Vaughn."

"And how is Agent Vaughn?" she missed the biting tone.

"He's doing just fine. He broke up with Alice."

"Alice?"

"Now ex-girlfriend."

"Ah, I see… and why did they end it?"

"I don't know. He never told me."

"I'm sorry for the other day, Syd. If you felt like I was forcing myself on you… I'm sorry. I know you're not ready to move on."

"I am ready to move on, I just can't do _that_ now."

Sydney's cell phone interrupted the pair, "Hello?" she answered.

"_Syd?"_

"Vaughn?"

"_Oh my god, are you okay? You didn't check in after the mission."_

"Yeah, I ran into some trouble, but everything's fine now. I'm heading out today."

"_Are you sure you're alright?"_

"Yeah, Vaughn everything's ok. I'll talk to you when I get back alright?"

"_Wait, Syd! I called to tell you something important."_

"What is it, Vaughn?"

"_We have the intel that we need to take down SD-6. We're almost out, Syd."_

"Oh my god. I'll see you later Vaughn."

"_Have a good trip back Syd."_

She hung up the phone and noticed that Julian was in the bathroom. She ran to the door and opened it. He was just getting into the shower when she barged into the room. He turned to her and she saw him in all his glory. He blushed and grabbed a towel from the wall, covering himself.

"Oh, I'm sorry… I'm gonna go now," she stuttered.

He laughed nervously then replied, "What did you want, Syd?"

"I can tell you later…" she mumbled.

"Sure, if you're sure…"

They stood there looking into each other's eyes for a minute before Sydney spoke, "Vaughn just called… they have it."

"They have what?" he asked.

"They have the intel that we need to destroy the Alliance."

"That's amazing! Syd, you're finally going to be free!" he said happily.

"Yeah. I can have a normal life."

He rushed up to her and hugged her tightly. His towel fell to the ground in the process, and once again, he was all out.

"Um… sorry…" Sydney said blushing.

She turned and left the room, "Syd," he called to her. She didn't turn around, but she stopped walking away, "You can finally have the life you have always wanted."

"Yeah," she whispered.

She closed the door behind her and walked to the bed, sitting down on the edge, "No, I can't," she whispered. Her eyes filled with tears and began to run down her cheeks. _I want you_, she thought as she cried herself to sleep.

------------------------------------------------------

When Sydney left the bathroom, Julian got into the shower and leaned against the wall. _You have to tell her,_ he told himself over and over again.

When he exited the bathroom fifteen minutes later he saw Sydney asleep on the bed. He pulled on some clothing and kissed her forehead before going into the other room to call his employer.

---------------------------------------------------------

They were woken in the morning by the shrill sound of a cell phone ringing. Sydney reached over to her side of the bed and pressed the "talk" button which was glowing brightly. "Hello," she answered groggily.

"_Syd? It's Vaughn."_

"What is it?" she whispered harshly.

"_We had a walk-in this morning. She's requested to talk to you."_

"Who is she?"

"_Irina Derevko."  
_

"I don't know an Irina Derevko," Sydney stated. Sark's eyes were suddenly wide open.

"_I can't tell you who she is over the phone. But it's important that you get back soon."_

"I will."

"_We're taking down SD-6 today. I thought you'd want to know. I think you should be a part of it. We'll be waiting for you."  
_

"Sure. I'll be there. I wouldn't miss it."

"_Syd. I know that something's going on with you, and I need you to remember that I'll always be here for you."_

"I know," she grinned a little and Julian's heart tightened. "I'll talk to you when I get back."

"_I'll see you then. I hope Sark wasn't too hard to work with."_

"Bye," she put the phone back down on the bedside table. She looked over at Sark who had now gotten out of the bed and was gathering his clothing and heading into the bathroom.

"Julian," she said before he closed the door, "Do you know about Irina Derevko?"

"I work for her."

"Oh," she said before he closed the door. When he came back out a few minutes later she asked him, "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing. There is nothing going on with me."

"I know you Julian, and there is something bothering you," he walked into another room, "Who is Irina Derevko? Is she your girlfriend or something?"

He turned around quickly with a look of horror, "God, no! She's as old as your father!"

"Then who is she?"

"I can't tell you Sydney. She told me not to."

"Since when do you listen to what your terrorist employer tells you?" Sydney scoffed.

"Since it affects you!" he screamed before slamming the door behind him. Sydney pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before running out after him. She found him a few minutes later in the garden. It was like a dream English garden; one that you had heard about in fairy tales, but never thought could exist. Julian was sitting in front of a small pond on a bench, tossing small pebbles into the water creating small ripples where they fell. She walked over to him and softly took a seat on the opposite side of the bench.

"This garden is beautiful," she said slowly, I'm sorry for earlier, I shouldn't have pushed you to tell me something you didn't want to."

"Syd, I'm sorry. I don't want to see you hurt, and that's what this will do to you. When you go back to Los Angeles, you're going to get hurt. And I'm not going to be there to help you through it."

She turned her head and looked at him, "Why won't you be there?"

"Because I have to stay here. It's the only way that I can guarantee my safety. If I go back with you, when they raid SD-6, they'll take me in."

"You're right," she whispered. Julian laughed lightly.

"I never thought that you would admit to that," she looked at him confused, "Me being right and you being wrong. I never thought I'd see the day."

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know."

He took his hand in hers and they watched the sunrise. There was an orange and pink glow over the green plants when Sark spoke up, "I've missed you Syd."

She turned her head in disbelief, "What?" she said quickly.

"I've missed you. More than I can say," he looked her in the eyes, "I let you go to keep you safe, but ever since that morning, I've regretted that decision. I haven't been able to move on. I keep thinking about what we could have had. Every single day I've been haunted. I never thought that I would see you again after that."

"I think about you too. Almost every single day, I wonder where we would be now."

"I don't know about you, but I am still so much in love with you. I love you more now than I did then. You've grown into the most beautiful person I've ever known."

Sydney had tears staining her cheeks, "None of this would have happened," she whispered.

Julian nodded, "I know," he whispered, "I'm sorry for everything."

"I know," she pulled his head to hers and kissed his lips softly. "I have to go back today."

"You should go," he said regretfully.

She stood up and walked back to the house, his eyes following her back.

He stayed outside until he heard the front door close again and heard a car engine start and move into the distance. Once he was sure that she had left, he went inside and put on a pot of water for tea. He walked up to the bedroom to just sit and stare at the room she had occupied earlier. Standing by the bed he noticed an envelope by the open window. He walked over to it and picked it up, reading the contents slowly. It was her handwriting.

_Julian,_

_I will be back. I will be sure to tell you everything about the raid._

_There's more to tell you._

_Sydney_

It was a short note, but sweet. He smiled when he put it away. He would worry about her while she was gone, but that's what he always did. Finally, after so many years, he found her again. Not only that, but he told her again that he loved her. He would always love her. His love never stopped.

Hearing the kettle screaming for attention, he went into the kitchen and attended to his daily life. Sydney would be back, so he could think about her later.

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The raid went without many problems. When everything was finished and Sydney was trying to leave the ruins of SD-6, Vaughn stopped her with a kiss. She kissed him back, fully, but when they pulled apart, she couldn't help but feel that Julian was just… better. His lips were softer, more inviting… just better than Vaughn's. There was more passion and love with Julian.

"We need to get back to the rotunda," Vaughn said breathlessly with a smile on his face. Sydney faked her smile and nodded, "Irina Derevko is still asking to see you."

"I don't know who she is Vaughn," Sydney said.

He nodded, "I know," he hesitated, "but she wants to tell you."

Sydney nodded and walked out of the building with Vaughn and Weiss following her. When they arrived outside of the building, they all tumbled out of the van and went through the front doors.

"Agent Bristow," Director Kendall greeted her, "We'd like you to come this way please," he motioned for her to follow him.

"I'm assuming this is where I am to meet Irina Derevko," she said.

"Yes," he nodded, "We're bringing her in right now," he replied as a woman with long brown hair was brought into the glass cell in front of her.

Sydney looked at her with confusion, "Mom?" she whispered.

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Sark opened his doors 48 hours later to see Sydney on his front porch with a look of anger on her face. The obvious signs of sadness were there. Tear stains were on her cheeks and her eyes were red and puffy from crying, _she knows_, he thought sadly.

"You knew!" she cried when she saw him. She quickly grabbed him and began to pummel his chest. "You've been working with her all this time! You knew her! You knew my mother was alive, and you never told me!" she screamed. She kept hitting his chest, over and over. He did nothing to stop her; he knew she would stop in time.

She collapsed onto his chest sobbing, her entire body was shaking. He held her tightly to him as she began to calm down. "Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered brokenly.

"Because I love you," he said before kissing her forehead, "I knew that you needed to find out for yourself."

"Sometimes I hate you because you think logically," she laughed sadly.

"So, you don't always hate me?" he asked tentatively.

"No… and I guess it's not really your fault. I mean, your country sent you in to work with her."

She pushed herself off of him and sat on the floor against the wall with her knees to her chest. Julian sat at the opposite wall, "So you don't hate me for keeping it from you?"

"No. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at her."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because…" her voice was laced with sobs again, "Why didn't she want me?" she asked as tears fell down her face.

He got up and pulled Sydney close to him, "Syd, you can't blame yourself. It's not your fault. You don't even know her reasons…"

Her head shot up, "What? Do you know something?"

"She left you because her KGB handler found out about you. He was going to kill your father and you, so she left you. She already had all the information she needed."

"Why did she tell you this?" she asked.

"Because I gave her a photograph of you."

"You did?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Yes. I took it a few days before I left on one of my last visits. It was of you smiling at me in the park."

"So she really did love me?" Sydney cried.

"Almost as much as I do."

Sydney smiled and kissed him roughly, "I've missed you," she whispered when she pulled back.

"That was a big change of discussion," he said before kissing her back.

"Not only have I missed you, but I love you," she whispered before taking off her jacket.

"You love me?" he questioned.

"I never stopped," she tugged his shirt over his head and left it on the floor.

"We need to leave this foyer," he said as he picked her up in his arms. Sydney giggled and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

"Go to your room," she said hoarsely.

"Why?" he questioned as he pushed open the door.

"King size bed," she said as he placed her on the bed.

"Good thinking." Julian crawled on top of her and felt her hands come around his waist and begin to undo his belt. She tore it off when she forced him over and was on top of him. She placed kisses across his chest but stopped once she got to the waistband of his jeans.

"You look gorgeous in jeans Julian, you should wear them more often," she breathed before undoing the pants and pulling them to the floor. He pulled her down to cover his body again and flipped them back so he was on top. He pulled her shirt over her head and undid her bra. Once that was done, he took one of her breasts in his hand and began to caress her nipple slightly. Her breath hitched in her throat, her body was shaking with anticipation. Julian bent down and placed his mouth right over her other breast, taking it in his mouth, flicking the nipple with his tongue. Sydney gasped at the sensation and Julian began to moan.

He let go of her chest and began to leave a trail of kisses from her breasts down her chest. After undoing her pants, he pulled them down slowly, kissing the freshly revealed pale skin of her legs, "You're so beautiful," he whispered once her pants were on the floor. He lightly brushed her inner thighs on his way back up, causing Sydney to squirm around on the bed.

"You're taking too long," she groaned, "I need you."

He took off her panties and then she slowly and teasingly took off his boxers, which freed his large erection right where she wanted it. They looked at each other with desire and passion before Julian whispered to her, "No interruptions," to which Sydney giggled and repeated the phrase before pulling his head to hers in their most passionate kiss yet.

His body was on top of hers and they were frozen in time, "Just, don't be too rough… at first," Sydney said devilishly. Julian slowly and carefully thrust into her. Sydney gasped at the sensation, then began to moan as Julian began to move against her. They kept their pace slow at first, neither of them felt a need to go any faster. She began to hold him tighter and tighter as they went on, before he realized that he was moving harder and faster. He kissed her with as much passion as he felt at that moment. Her eyes opened and he looked straight into her soul, there was so much desire and love for him.

Their hips began to meet each other more violently before she threw her head back and arched her body under his. He drove into hers one more time before collapsing onto hers. He was not capable of thinking of anything other than his love for her at the moment. Nothing else seemed possible. They were the only two people in the world at this moment. Nothing in the world could tear them apart again.

He pulled himself off of Sydney and laid next to her. Her breathing had slowed down and she was now asleep. Once he was next to her, she rolled onto her side and unconsciously, she wrapped her body against his. He smiled and kissed the top of her head before grasping her hand and falling asleep.

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Please read and review :D That makes me happy! I'm glad to see people enjoying this story. The final part will be up late tonight.


	5. Part V

**Chapter Five**

Julian awoke in the bed the next morning, feeling happier than he ever had in his life. Or at least, happier than he had been since he had been in high school. He rolled onto his side to watch Sydney sleeping when he realized that she wasn't there. He got out of bed and pulled on a pair of boxer shorts. He heard sounds coming from the kitchen and living room, so he walked through the hall to investigate, "Syd?" he said before rounding the corner. He froze when he saw Arvin Sloane in front of him.

"Mr Sark. So glad to see you on this fine morning."

Julian nodded and looked around the room to see where Sydney was. "Mr Sloane, can I ask you what you are doing here?"

"I know what you have done Mr Sark. You have been betraying me and mine since the beginning. I don't think that I can forget that. If you would please take a walk into the living room you can see what I will do if you don't come with me now," they walked into the living room, Sloane had a gun against his back, pushing him forward.

He saw three men in the room around the couch. Two men were preparing a needle with a blue liquid and one man held a gun to the cushions. He didn't know why until he saw Sydney lying on the cushions looking paler than he had ever seen her. "What have you done to her!" he screamed at Sloane.

"Just a sedative Mr Sark. But you see, that needle is filled with a mortal poison. If you don't cooperate with me, they will inject Miss Bristow with it, and you'll have to live knowing that you could prevent her death. So, if you would please follow me," he waved his hand towards the door.

"Can I just say goodbye?" he asked politely.

"She can't hear you Mr Sark. She's asleep," Sloane laughed.

"I know, but I need to do this."

He walked over to Sydney and grabbed her hand. She was fighting the drug. Her arms were moving slightly, nothing that would make them give her more, but it made him proud of her. Even when she was unable to fight, she still fought.

"Syd," he whispered. "If I never see you again, know that I love you and I will always love you. I never forgot you and I never will. I hope I will see you soon. Be brave and be strong for me." Julian bent forward and kissed her forehead and then he softly kissed her lips.

He turned towards Sloane and got up, walking to the front door. "If you hurt her, no matter what, I guarantee that I will kill you."

"Julian, I can see why you let her in. I saw her this morning, when they were taking her out of the room…" he glanced back into the house before shutting the door. "She is gorgeous. Such a toned body," Julian glared at him, "I guess that's what you get from sending her out on all those missions."

Julian turned around quickly and punched Sloane in the face. Soon, Julian was standing above Sloane holding his gun. He didn't know how he did it, there was just a period that was blank. He carefully opened the front door and saw _his_ gun lying on the table beside the door. He grabbed it before slowly entering the living room. The men were talking about what they could do to her before they got the call from Sloane. This made his blood boil. If they touched _his_ Sydney, he would kill them all. _No mercy,_ was his final thought before running into the room.

He took out the man with the gun first. He was lying on the ground with a bullet hole in his head within fifteen seconds of seeing Julian in the doorway. The second was the man preparing Sydney's needle. He was down in another fifteen seconds. The man with the needle was down last. He had pushed it under Sydney's skin in her arm just when Julian shot him. As he dropped to the ground a trail of blood from where the needle had just been. Julian ran over to Sydney and saw that her eyes were flickering open. "Syd," he asked quickly.

She mumbled something in response. "Syd, can you hear me?"

Her head moved in a motion that he could consider a nod, "Come on, we've got to go," he said as he lifted her in his arms. They went to the door and he was comforted when he saw Sloane lying on the ground with blood seeping from a hole in his forehead. "Sloane's dead" he whispered to her before opening the car door and placing her in the passenger seat.

He heard an indistinctive moan from Sydney and smiled as he got in the driver's seat. They drove to the hospital with no sound except for the occasional moan from Sydney. Julian smiled when they reached the hospital. He picked up Sydney and they headed into the emergency room. The doctors immediately attended to her and got her a private room where she could be treated.

The next morning Jack Bristow was walking into Sydney's hospital room when he heard Sydney talking to someone. He had received an anonymous call from someone telling him that Sydney was in the hospital and was going to be okay, but he should come and see her for himself.

"Hey," he heard Sydney's voice say.

"You're awake," he heard a man's voice.

"Yeah, and you're still here."

"I wouldn't leave you Syd."

"I know," she whispered.

"I love you," he whispered before kissing her hand.

"I love you too," there was a moment's pause between the two, but before Jack could enter the room Sydney continued, "What do you want to do when we get out of here?" she asked.

"I want to be with you Syd. I have since I first saw you. I've been in love with you for more than ten years."

Jack took this as his opportunity to enter the room, "Sydney, are you alright?" he asked concerned.

"Hi dad, what are you doing here?" Sydney asked. She let go of Julian's hand.

"I got an anonymous call telling me you were here. Are you alright?" he turned to his right and saw Julian now standing, "What is Mr Sark doing here?"

"Dad, you remember him right? Julian Lazarey? He was my boyfriend in high school and some of university…"

"Sydney he's a terrorist!" he yelled. Sydney shook her head.

"Sir, there is an explanation," Julian spoke up, "I'm MI-6. I've been undercover for more than eight almost nine years. I've been working with them as a double agent with for the man. Recently, as you know, I've been working with SD-6 as a sort of… triple agent."

"Sydney, you don't believe him do you?"

"Dad, I've known the entire time. He told me a couple of months after he was hired."

"So you do. You're being a fool Sydney. This man is a terrorist!"

"Dad, I love him!" Sydney screamed, "I love him and I will do what I have to do so I can be with him right now. I don't want you to try and protect me anymore. I'm an adult, I have been for many years now and I can make my own decisions."

"Mr Bristow. I know that many years ago we had dinner and I told you that I loved your daughter. I never stopped loving her. I will do anything to be with her and I would give my life to protect her."

"You almost did last night," she whispered as she reached out for his hand. "Thank you for saving my life again Julian."

"It was nothing," he said as he looked into her eyes.

"It was everything," she whispered. They had forgotten about her father being in the room until he cleared his throat.

"What precautions are you going to take so you can be together," Jack asked.

Sydney turned to look at Julian, "I don't know. What are we going to do?" she asked him.

He turned to Jack for a moment "Could we please just have one moment alone?" he asked him.

He nodded, "Sure," and left the room.

"Julian what are we going to do?"

"I don't know. Your mother is in CIA custody, so I guess I can leave that behind now. I can leave the intelligence world behind. I want to be with you Sydney. I want to wake up with you every morning, and I want you to be the last person I see every night. I love you and want to be with you for the rest of my life. I will do anything I can do to make you happy."

"I want to be with you too, so much Julian."

"Do you still want to work for the CIA?" he asked.

"Maybe, I don't know yet. I want to get back soon and see what is going on. I still have to be debriefed. I might teach. I got my degree right before I ran into you."

"I'm happy you did that! I didn't know, you didn't tell me."

"What would you do?" she asked.

"I don't know. But we could figure that out later. First, I want you to get better and then I want to go with you to your house, through the front door and stay there. We won't be in danger any more. I can see Francie and Will again. They're dating now right?"

"And mating like puppies," she giggled.

He chuckled, "Well let's get your father back in here and get you strong again. Then, we can start our new life together."

"I have wanted a life with you for as long as I can remember."

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They stood in front of the door holding hands, Julian was carrying the bags in his other hand and Sydney opened the door. "Francie?" she called from the door, "Are you and Will here?" she cried.

"In here!" she heard Francie call from the kitchen.

The pulled Julian in the apartment and he put the bags down by the door. "Your trip took a little longer than expected, I see. You were supposed to be back four days ago."

"I know, but I ran into someone and then got food poisoning so I ended up in the hospital."

Francie rounded the corner, "Oh my god are you alright?" she said before seeing Julian, "Is that?" she asked disbelievingly.

Sydney smiled, "You remember Julian, right?" she asked.

"Of course… but Syd… you remember what happened right?"

"I know, but there were reasons behind that… and now we're ready to start something new."

"Wow, I'm so happy for you!" she hugged Julian tightly. He smiled and then laughed at his discomfort.

Will entered the room, "Syd, what's Julian doing here?" he asked when he saw him.

"Um… well… Julian's moving in," she said slowly.

"What do you think you're doing? Don't you remember him? He broke your heart Syd." Will said.

"Will, please. It's all been worked out. We've spent so many years apart, but we love each other more than ever. Please accept this Will," Sydney pleaded.

Will nodded shortly and hugged Sydney. He then embraced Julian and whispered a threat to him which Julian did not take seriously, but respected nonetheless.

"Wow, Syd that's perfect!" Francie exclaimed. "Will and I were just talking about getting our own place the other day. We have been bothering you lately, I can tell."

"I love you guys, but I don't know how much more of that I can take," Sydney laughed.

Francie and Will blushed and laughed, "Well, I guess this would be the perfect time to start looking for another place."

"Well, actually, if you guys are thinking about moving in together, then I think you should stay here. I kind of think it would be a good idea for Julian and me to find a new place. Maybe a bit bigger than this," she said discreetly.

"Are you pregnant!" Francie screamed.

Sydney blushed, "No, no I'm not. But who knows, someday we might start a family. But Julian and I are planning a life together and I just think it might be time to move some place bigger."

"I think that's a great idea," Julian said by her side. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her softly, "I would love to get a bigger place with you Sydney Bristow."

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**18 months later**

Sydney sat outside on a hammock watching the waves in the distance. She put down her book as she heard footsteps from behind her. "How's my little princess doing?" she heard him say.

"Which one?" she asked with a smile on her face. He laughed and sat next to her and reached over to the table, grabbing a bottle of sun-tan lotion. He squeezed out a small amount and began to rub it on her exposed swollen belly. He looked down at her feet and noticed a small toe ring on her baby toe. She noticed his perception, "I don't know why I bothered with that. I can't see my feet, so why did I even bother putting on a toe ring?"

"I think it's cute," he said smiling.

"You think it's cute? How cute?" she asked.

"Nowhere near as cute as you. You and Elizabeth-" at the name, Sydney grimaced, "Ok, so not Elizabeth… are the cutest things I have ever known."

Sydney smiled, "What about Evangeline?" she asked.

Julian smiled at her, "I like that name," he said.

"Evangeline Rose Lazarey," she said.

"My mother's middle name?" he questioned.

"Would that be alright with you?"

He smiled at her and then kissed her sweetly, "That would be wonderful!" he exclaimed.

"Well, Mr Lazarey, we have had a perfect time lately haven't we?"

"I would say so, Mrs Lazarey."

She laughed. He only called her Mrs Lazarey when he was completely and utterly happy. "Nothing can ever take this away from us you know. Everything that could have ruined this is gone."

He laid down beside her and they watched a young family playing in the waves below them until they heard a shrill baby's cry from behind them, "Sorry, she just woke up," Francie said.

"Hey! We weren't expecting you for another hour," Sydney exclaimed.

Sydney tried to get up from the hammock but was unable due to her size. "Take your time Syd, I know what you're going through," Francie said.

Julian walked around to help Sydney up and Sydney clung onto him gratefully, "What would I ever do without you," she whispered into his ear.

They walked into the house and Will came in a few minutes later with a large box in his arms. "Hey Syd," he paused when he saw her, "Wow, you're huge."

Sydney frowned, "Yeah, I am."

"Well, that's a good thing. You look radiant! When are you due, again?" he asked, trying to cover up his little mistake.

Sydney laughed when Will began to blush furiously, "Two weeks, so any day now really."

"Are you excited?" he asked Julian.

"I'm nervous. I've never really been around children before. Well… I mean, before your little Annabelle."

At the sound of her name the cries instantly stopped, "It's amazing Julian, your voice makes her stop crying. I think she has a crush on you," Francie stated.

"It's the British accent. It's so dull that it makes you go to sleep."

Sydney came up behind him, "I think it's sexy," she said quietly before kissing him softly.

"Well, we just thought you guys would want to see Anna on her first month birthday!"

"We did, we definitely did," Sydney answered.

They sat at the dining room table and toasted their champagne (ginger ale for Sydney) and proceeded to talk about the babies.

Sydney had been cooking and cleaning all morning before taking a break on the hammock, and Julian had been a little concerned about her. She had been feeling so tired recently until that morning, when she woke up with so much energy.

Sydney stood to get some more drinks and went into the kitchen. They were having fun in the dining room until they heard a crash of glass on the tile floor. Julian ran into the room to see Sydney leaning against the wall holding her belly. She looked at him and smiled, "It's time," she whispered before they quickly grabbed her things from the house and headed to the hospital.

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29 hours later Sydney and Julian held their daughter Evangeline Rose Lazarey in their arms. She was a healthy girl with ten fingers and ten toes.

"I love you," Julian whispered to Sydney once their daughter had fallen asleep in her arms.

"I love you too," Sydney replied.

Life was perfect, and nothing could ever take it away.


End file.
